Why I don’t answer my door

I got a knock at the door. I never open it unless it was for someone I knew was coming or pizza. This time it was pizza. It was about the time it was due, so I opened the door without checking the peephole in excitement.

Sadly, it wasn’t the pizza delivery man. It was a well-dressed man and woman in their 60s or 70s. Both of them smiled at me. Their smiles were warm and friendly, with a hint of excited – the best way I can describe it is like the smiles parents get when their baby takes its first steps.

They greeted me and asked if they could trouble me for a moment of my time. I realised after he said that, that they were church-goers and were door knocking in the area in hopes to gain new members to which ever Christian church they belonged to, likely Non-Trinitarian.

The man asked me if I believed in creationism and to my surprise, the man raised his hand, pointing his index and middle fingers directly into my eyes, then started to wiggle them.

He tilted his head forwarded and widened his eyes as he focused on me with intensity. I’m not sure what the man was hoping to achieve by wiggling his two fingers around, but it did nothing to me.

I replied to the man telling him that I didn’t care, because honestly I don’t. The man went from friendly and warm to creepy as soon as he raised those fingers. Meanwhile, Mrs. Creepy’s smile grew larger, almost cynical.

The man then asked if I believed in Jesus Christ. He maintained his intense stare at me and wiggled his two fingers again after asking the question. Again, not sure what this creep was trying to accomplish other than remind me why I think church people are weird, but replied with: No, I am atheist.

I continued to tell them that I didn’t believe there was a god, multiple gods, or any higher power, although it would be awesome if Satan was around as the Satanic Bible made a lot of sense to me. The look of horror on their faces was priceless.

The woman pulled a bottle out of her back. It was glass and probably only 4 oz. or so. She opened the lit and started spraying it on me, then proceeded to recite scripture at me, asking “Father” to forgive me for sinning and speaking such blasphemy!

I stepped back in shock as I got drenched in water but shock quickly turned to anger. I sternly told the pair to get off my property now and to keep their practices to themselves. Mr. Creepy joined in reciting scripture with the woman, both getting louder.

A young family were walking their dog on the side-walk in front of my house while this was happening and started slowing down as they tried to see what the commotion was about. Likewise my neighbour who was outside gardening.

My neighbour was an older man, probably in his late 50s. He lived alone and we nodded and waved hello when we saw each other and had previously passed compliments at each other’s gardens but never actually introduced ourselves to one another before.

The woman went to raise her bottle at me again but this time, I grabbed the bottle from her and threw it into my yard. I wasn’t having any of it and their chants stopped. Suddenly, the woman screamed bloody murder and fell to the ground. The man suddenly turned his attention to the now grounded woman and crouched to her.

He tended to her as she yelled that I had hit her. The man looked up at me, cursing at me loudly without trading any swear words, but yelled out to everyone around that “This man had hit my wife” and “Everyone here saw it”.

I honestly couldn’t believe what I was witnessing and couldn’t help but laugh. I told them that I’m recording this to Facebook so people can see who they were and proceeded to take out my phone from my side pocket.

As I raised the phone at them and opened the camera app, the man quickly got to his feet and tried to grab the phone out of my hand. At this point, my neighbour came over and told the pair to leave right now as the police were on the way.

He later told me that he was bluffing. The man told him that I struck his wife, however my neighbour replied telling him that he saw the whole thing and they were full of shit. The people on the sidewalk moved on so it was just the 4 of us at my front door.

The old man helped the woman to her feet and the pair left my front yard, but not without cursing at me and threatening to report me to the police and their church. I was still laughing from the shock of it all.

My neighbour looked at me and asked if I was okay. I told him I was fine but I really wasn’t. I think he knew how I really felt so proceeded to console me and offer a hand if I needed anything.

I thanked him for his support, but he wasn’t quite done yet. He told me that old couples have been knocking on doors in the area for some time and to be careful as these were not your run-of-the-mill church people trying to spread the word of Jesus. They were not church people.

Confused, I asked him who they were. He told me that was a member of the International Church of Christ some time ago but didn’t see eye to eye with them. He was recruited in a similar manner – by an older couple who would use psychology tactics such as the wiggling fingers I saw and if that failed, guilted their victims by provoking them like they did with me until they got their way.

Fortunately both their ways failed so I was lucky, but many who have met with them have very little success rate in escaping their manipulative ways. The church was aggressively recruiting new members and would use any tactic possible to sign new recruits up.

I felt like a dodged a bullet by this point.

My neighbour went off back home to continue gardening, but our encounter turned into a more friendly, familiar connection after that event and we later became closer and eventually shared a barbecue at each other’s house as a relaxed way to hang out with each other.

By the way, my pizza did arrive after all that, but it was cold and had to complain to the store manager – that is a different story and one I’ll spare you from.

 

A few weeks ago, I was at my neighbour’s house for one of those barbeques. He was throwing a neighbour get-together for Christmas so everyone could get to know each other if they hadn’t already. A barbeque is a great way to get to know people and your neighbours and it was a great turn out – just about every house in the street turned up.

I went into the kitchen of my neighbour’s house to help out as out of everybody there, he and I were the closest, so I was helping prepare and bring the food out to the back yard to be cooked. I went to use his toilet and that’s when I saw the most horrifying thing hanging on his wall.

It was a framed photo of my neighbour in front of an International Church of Christ charity event, named “HOPE”. In the picture were a few, what I assume based on their ages, senior members. In the same picture were the old couple that were at my front door.

The picture had a date on it. It was dated 21/10/2016 – Just two months ago. My neighbour was not supposed to be a member of this “church” anymore, but I suddenly was overcome by shock and find it extremely coincidental that the man and the woman at my door were door knocking at random.

I immediately left the party as I didn’t feel safe being at the party and instead went back to my house without letting anyone know I was leaving.

It’s been many weeks since I’ve spoken to my neighbour, after numerous attempts at trying to make contact with me. I’ve purposely avoided him until I can work out what to do next.

 

To the followers of Mr. Reality, Adam, the man who sent in this story would appreciate any thoughts on what you think the connection might be and what you would do in this situation.

Please feel free to reply to this story below as Adam will see all responses.

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